Monday, September 19, 2016

Remebering 9/11 15 years later


Sep 11, 2016 9:35pm

Soapbox alert and rambling post warning.
This was a hard day, harder than I expected. I got up and walked into a replay of 9/11 coverage on the news. I know what the towers looked like but still felt panic initially until I saw President Bush talking instead of President Obama. I didn't expect to react that way. I didn't expect to cry in my husband's arms after 15 years. It's strange what trauma does to us, how violated we can feel even when the physical blow lands on another. Memories are tricky things. They can be treasure or torment.
It makes me sad that one day we won't remember. We say we will. We have every intention to, but eventually as a nation, we won't, at least not with emotion. It will be a fact, not a feeling. It's normal for memories to fade and become less intense, but it is still painful to think it will happen. It's like a broken promise.
Someday, if the world keeps spinning that long and America keeps chugging on, 9/11 will be a paragraph in a history book or a question on a chapter test. Don't think so? Think WW1, WW2, Pearl Harbor, Oklahoma City or go global. Memorials stand but memories fade.
We trivialize, politicize, and spin. We compare numbers and place blame but the truth is whatever happened before, whatever actions, right or wrong, that occurred after; these people were just living their lives. They got up, started their day, and expected to finish it. They didn't and they deserve to be remembered.
They weren't numbers, they were people. They had no say in their assault and could give no opinion on the response after it. Give them their day, free of politics, free of spin. Just remember and as long as you remember; help those around you do the same.

Sunday, April 3, 2016

Happy 30th Anniversary
God is love and that is a whole other level but today this is for you Honey.

“I want a simple love like that
Always giving never asking back
When I'm in my final hour looking back
I hope I had a simple love like that.” Simple Love by Sarah Siskind and sung by Alison Krauss

For 32 years you have been my friend, for the majority of that time, my best friend.  For 30 years you have been the other part of me.  You spent those years showing me what love is. There are too many ways to count but these are some of the ways you were love in my life.
Love was never taking no for an answer because I thought something was impossible. Tenacious should be your middle name. ;)  Love was moving across an ocean because that is where I need to be. Love is loving me when I can’t love myself. Love is doing dishes or laundry without being asked. Love is holding on to me through my heartbroken tears and hysterical laugher.
Love is knowing an argument might raise the roof but that we are okay because God is our foundation.  Love is you sitting through concerts from Garth Brooks to Barry Manilow even though Five Finger Death Punch is more your thing.  Love is sitting in the room with me while I watch shows you loathe, even if you are watching something else on the IPad with one earplug in so I am not alone. Love is attending movies and events you would rather not be at but know I wanted to see or be part of.
Love is not letting Cancer get the best of you and make you live in fear.  Love is surviving. You were brave even when I couldn’t be. Love is every day when I see you get up and work out, even if it’s hard, even when it hurts, because you want to be able to take care of us.
Love is you coming home for lunch even when you know I will melt down about something that is going on. It would be easy to make an excuse but that is not your style. Love is you coming home every night for 30 years if it was possible.  Love is me not having to worry about where you are or who you are with.  Love is stupid jokes no one else gets. Love is when you were willing to be seen with me in public after my unfortunate “poodle” perm. Love is that wink or little grin you give me when no one is looking. Love is holding hands after all these years.
It would be a lie to say life has been all sunshine and roses.  We have had some thorns and nettles to deal with but you never gave up. There was a popular saying at one time, “Love means never having to say you are sorry”.  That saying is a lie. Love is being willing to say you’re sorry even when you aren’t the one in the wrong. Love is forgiving even when you don’t have to.  Love is not quitting when that would be the easy thing to do. Every day you show me love.  Are you perfect? NO, but neither am I.  I will take you just as you are, watching you every day as God makes you more, more of what he wants you to be, more of what we need. I’ve loved the adventure so far and I’m so thankful that whatever comes next, we’re in it together.  I love you honey and I’m forever yours, faithfully. 4/3/2016