June 2008
Melissa,

I am not a talker. I am a writer. That way I get my words straight and manage to say what I mean more often. This is supposed to be a devotional but it is more just some things I wanted to tell you.

You know you are very special to me. You are my other daughter and I love you very much. I wanted to give you some things to think about, as you get ready to get on with your life as a wife.



You are not just a newlywed. You are a military spouse. This puts you in a unique position. You will face hardships and joys that other wives might not. You are one of a select group that has unique qualifications for this position because you have also been a military child. You have moved, lived on bases and remote areas both here, and abroad. You learned from your mother as you watched her do the things you will do now.



Here are some things to remember.



It is hard for any newlywed to be away from Mom and Dad and start their own home. Let's face it, married or single, it is difficult to always handle things on your own. Add in moving to another country and the difficulty multiplies. This is where you and Ragan will grow by working as a team. You can't always pick up the phone or drive by home to ask for advice and neither can Ragan, so depend on each other. But do ask for help when you need too.

Remember that you set the tone for your home. If you are content and have joy it will spread to those around you. You will not always be happy, you will not always feel cheerful but you can choose how you react to those feelings. A husband's bad day at work can sometimes be turned completely around by our actions when they get home. I know from experience that it can also get worse if we reacted badly.
Chose right over easy. It is easier to sleep in than to go to worship. It is easier to argue than admit you were wrong. It is easier to go with the flow than to stand up for what you believe. It is not easy to sit alone and not be angry when your husband is deployed, or to be gracious and handle things when the "I'll be home in 15 minutes turns to an hour", to deal with backed up toilets, broken cars, sick children or the millions of other things that get thrown our way when we are alone. It is not easy to comfort someone who is grieving when you are worried about your own husband. Help those around you. This can be hard at times but remember.. 2 Thessalonians 3:13 But you, brothers and sisters, never become tired of doing good. Remember that doing the right thing is often the hardest but also the most rewarding choice.

Live everyday like Ragan is deploying tomorrow. Don't waste time on silly arguments or get bogged down with day to day life. Cherish every minute. Treat every day as a gift from God and don't waste any of them. They pass quicker than you could ever imagine.



Don't fall in love with things. Can you imagine if Abraham told Sarah, "Honey we got orders." and Sarah had to pack up some of our homes! Matthew 6:20 says. "But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal." Please note that the breaking can also apply to our military movers. This is something I struggle with daily. Do yourself a big favor and learn it early.



Be flexible, because as you know Uncle Sam isn't. Windows and rooms are never the same size as the last place. Orders are late or they are changed. Babies, movers, and the cable installation people come when they are ready regardless of what we have to do or where we want to be. Remember God is good and meets our needs. He knows what is best for us. The assignment or housing area we wanted could have been a disaster and that base we dreaded so much going to could just be where we make a lifelong friend. Philippians 4:19 says: And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. This is a verse you should hide in your heart.



Serve God above all. Where we go in life and what successes we have are temporary. Where we spend eternity and who goes with us is of the most importance. Philippians 3:20 says, But our homeland is in heaven, and we are waiting for our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, to come from heaven. Remember, our home is Heaven, but temporarily: Home is where the Air Force sends you!



Everyday of your life together remember that God, your family and your friends, loves you both. I pray that you will have a wonderful adventure as you head through life toward home.