Wednesday, October 10, 2012

It is Just a House

It is just a house. It is more than that though. It is a promise kept, a wish fulfilled, a refuge.  For over 26 years we lived in someone else’s house.  We moved from place to place, apartments, houses, duplexes, wherever life or the military took us.  Always with the promise that someday, someday we would have our own house.

And now, we do.  It is ours and the finance company’s. We can paint whatever color we want to and we don’t have to fill out any forms or get permission first to do it. We can turn on the heat when we want to and not wait for X number of cold days before it is turned on.  On the other hand, if it breaks we fix it and that is okay.

We have been faced with decisions we are not accustomed to.  The youngest has been overwhelmed by choices she has never been allowed to make before. The oldest has to trust us because she is away at school but will definitely have a place in the house she hasn’t even seen. We have more room than ever but not enough storage, floors we love but not the helpful “clean this, this way” booklets we are used to being issued.  It is a challenge. It is a joy. 

Our life has changed in so many ways in the last few months.  We have moved countries. He has experienced a major job change. Our oldest went to college far enough away that she will miss her first Thanksgiving with us. Our youngest and I have returned to homeschooling after five years. We bought a house.  On the life stresses lists we are in big trouble, but we’re not. We will be okay.  We will pray a lot and maybe paint a little and settle in.

It is just a house, but together our family will make it a home.  

Thursday, April 26, 2012


     In 49 days my beautiful, talented first born will graduate from high school. I have bouts of pride, worry and pain at that thought.  She has come so far from her freshman year.  Then she was an upset, angry little girl who had just been moved to another country and shoved into a new school, full of strangers within a week of arrival and expected to just adjust.
     Today, she is a young woman with a warrior’s heart.  She is passionate about her beliefs and quick to defend anyone she sees as mistreated or misunderstood.  She often fights the battles of even those who are, or who have been unkind to her.  She is pretty on the outside but her heart is the prettiest thing about her. 

     She is headstrong and opinionated and so smart.  She is like other teens and young adults who think they have all the answers.  I try to cut her some slack with that.  I am older but I still remember thinking I had the answers too.  She would be happier sometimes if she were not so quick to argue/share them but that will come with time.  Often, though as an adult I hate to admit it, her answers are smarter and much kinder and more Christ like than mine.  I learn from her more often than she knows.  I know as she grows she will learn ways to present her thoughts, without impatience and anger, when others are slow to listen or don’t agree with her.
     Lately, I have fussed at her to clean her room because she is having friends over and we have movers coming, etc.  But I think of her room and I cry. Not because it is messy but because in the fall it won’t be.  She will go to college in the fall.  I will go with her, settle her in and leave her many states away the day after she turns 18.  I will hold her and cry, knowing if it is God’s will she will be in my arms again, but not until Christmas break.
     For 8 years of marriage we had no children.  This brought me to tears many times. Now I will cry again, many times.  Not because I have no child, but because that precious baby who grew under and in my heart, is a child no more.  

     I am so proud of the woman she has become, but oh  how I wish I could hold back time for just a little longer. I know I will never be really ready for this moment though. So like a good military mom, I will press on, putting her in God’s hands and knowing that is enough.

"For this child I prayed and the Lord has granted me my petition which I asked of Him."
1 Samuel 1:27

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Graduation and moving and drama are taking over my life right now. These are not really the priorities I should have but my mind dwells on them. I hope to do a post soon with pics but until then, here is a little bloggy bump to let you know I am still here.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Happy New Year

So long since I have posted....tonight I am a little sick and tired but wanted to say Happy New Year and I will try to do better. This blog is primarily for myself but if you are out there. Thank you.  The fall was long and the winter looks like it will be the same. I am working on something to put up next but in the meantime know that I haven't forgotten, you or this blog.