Thursday, September 5, 2013

I fear change. A child back at college, another back at public school, it is all too much.  And yet..I feel this need in me for change, like something just needs to break loose, to be...different.

I wish I knew what it was.  I feel stagnant, still, dormant.  What is it?  What do I need to do? What will make this feeling go away?

Have I been at someone else's beck and call so long (even though I enjoyed it and felt needed)  that I have lost me? Did I ever have me? Do I remember me?  Do I want to be me anymore or do I want to be someone else?

Still me...yes. A better me? Definitely, but how?  It will come, I hope.  I guess this is an empty nest thing, a moving and changing over and over thing.  Time will tell.  Here's hoping that whatever it is, it will be a change for the better, something Dave and I and the girls can all appreciate.

Pray for the change in me.

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