In 49 days my beautiful, talented first born will graduate
from high school. I have bouts of pride, worry and pain at that thought. She has come so far from her freshman
year. Then she was an upset, angry
little girl who had just been moved to another country and shoved into a new
school, full of strangers within a week of arrival and expected to just adjust.
Today, she is a young woman with a warrior’s heart. She is passionate about her beliefs and quick
to defend anyone she sees as mistreated or misunderstood. She often fights the battles of even those
who are, or who have been unkind to her.
She is pretty on the outside but her heart is the prettiest thing about
her.
She is headstrong and opinionated and so smart. She is like other teens and young adults who
think they have all the answers. I try
to cut her some slack with that. I am
older but I still remember thinking I had the answers too. She would be happier sometimes if she were
not so quick to argue/share them but that will come with time. Often, though as an adult I hate to admit it,
her answers are smarter and much kinder and more Christ like than mine. I learn from her more often than she knows. I know as she grows she will learn ways to
present her thoughts, without impatience and anger, when others are slow to
listen or don’t agree with her.
Lately, I have fussed at her to clean her room because she
is having friends over and we have movers coming, etc. But I think of her room and I cry. Not
because it is messy but because in the fall it won’t be. She will go to college in the fall. I will go with her, settle her in and leave
her many states away the day after she turns 18. I will hold her and cry, knowing if it is God’s
will she will be in my arms again, but not until Christmas break.
For 8 years of marriage we had no children. This brought me to tears many times. Now I
will cry again, many times. Not because
I have no child, but because that precious baby who grew under and in my heart,
is a child no more.
I am so proud of the woman she has become, but oh how I
wish I could hold back time for just a little longer. I know I will never be
really ready for this moment though. So like a good military mom, I will press
on, putting her in God’s hands and knowing that is enough.
"For this child
I prayed and the Lord has granted me my petition which I asked of Him."
1 Samuel 1:27
